Va-van voom

It's official. I have a van. It's white. So henceforth I am white van woman - discourteous driver, opinionated twat and objectionably racist, sexist and bigoted. Probably. Or not, really (the opinionated twat bit might stick in a court of law).

One like what I have bought

Lead On Dog Walkers are on the road at last after I bust my car auction cherry this morning and confidently outbid lots of other white van men to buy a Citroen Berlingo, one formerly owned by the RSPCA and so ideal for my new gig.

Truth be told, I was actually kacking my pants as the bidding began but all those mornings watching Homes Under The Hammer (I'll try not to let this become a recurring theme) paid off - well, that and having a crash course in car auctions in the company of my old friend Lorraine during a brief visit to Glasgow yesterday.

We were both a little aghast at how fast the whole process is and how we were the only folks there who clearly didn't have a clue what was going on.

But thankfully at least one of us had her wits about her as Lo continually had to remind me to stop lifting my arm to point at stuff while the bidding was going on - or I'd be ferrying Lead On's mutts around in a 1996 Skoda ...

So it's all systems go. I've got my first regular customer. I've agreed to dog-sit a wee dug for 8 - that's EIGHT - weeks from June. I'm going to hoof it round the neighbourhood this weekend with flyers and bombard folks at a dog show on Sunday with cards etc. I'd say I'm definitely on my way to my first million ... So, yay for me.


Oh and in the midst of all this, I'm busy planning and organising the Glasgow leg of Debbie & Fran - the nuptials. Hence yesterday's flying visit to Glasgow to sort out booze, boogie and butties.

And now that's all done too, so the only thing we have to do now is turn up on June 4 and have a fabulous party with all our friends and family. So, yay for us.

Come to mama

It's all been a little bit frantic but a great deal of fun, too. And the good news is that, having been away in London, then Glasgow over the last five days, I now have the mother and father of all ironings to do.

Well, a girl has to have some me time ...

A tentative toe in the water

So, this is the blogosphere - welcome to me!

I can't believe it's now 4 months since I made the move from Glasgow to the Brighton area but it's taken me until now to get my butt in gear and 1. set myself up in the dog-walking business I've been planning for months; and 2. write the blog my mates have been urging on me since the move.

In my defence, I have been a wedding planner extraordinaire in that time (me and Debbie had the best day ever on April 23 for our civil partnership) and I have unleashed my inner domestic goddess - I can now bake bread and the missus' clothes have never been so regularly laundered and ironed.

A loaf yesterday

But sheesh, aint housework tedious, hard grind? And there are only so many episodes of Homes Under The Hammer one woman can watch before she's planning to take a hammer to Lucy and Martin.

So all good things must come to an end and now, once my van is kitted oot, I'll be Fran Fran the doggy fan. Oh yeah and I need some customers. All in good time, all in good time.

So, over the course of the next few weeks and months, I'll be using this space to - hopefully - entertain you with my tales (and tails) of doggy and non-doggy life here on the south coast.

Along the way, I'll pass comment on any damn thing I like but probably limited to telly (Homes Under The Hammer notwithstanding), home-baked bread and how Tefal genuinely is the Ferrari of irons. Exciting eh?


Next time: resisting the daily urge to walk into Shoreham Dogs' Trust and take ALL of the mutts home